Because I’m now in Congress to serve you well
I work on legislation with no chance in Hell
to make it to a White House signing ceremony
Where I pose next to Obama with his arm around me.
(Chorus) Look– he just got a selfi with president–see!
Now my buddies went after healthcare because it’s just too big–
it makes government a business; (but let me keep this gig).
Three years ago we passed a bill to kill Obamacare
But the Senate didn’t buy it and it went nowhere.
(Chorus) No the Senate didn’t buy it because they just don’t care.
So we sent a variation as a compromise
But those liberal left-wing bastards had the other guys.
More than 40 times we tried it with the same result
And the country says I’m not acting like a mature adult.
(Chorus) And we take that as an insult ‘cause it’s not our fault.
It’s true everyone says Congress is a bunch of fools
Sure, we haven’t done a darn thing but we’ve kept our rule.
‘Cuz we represent The People, working Americans
It’s the other side that’s focused on shenanigans.
We’ve tried to explain our position on Hannity
(It’s the only television for sanity)
Spending all the airtime to say “they’re wrong”
Talking points with no solution is our favorite song.
(Chorus) If we ever offered answers, we might get along
After working a few hours we find a microphone
To tell The People we represent them, that they’re not alone.
But their opinion puts us lower than a Kardashian
In November keep the progress and vote me in.
(Chorus) Vote against opponents–let us keep our job.