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Pat Piper has made a career learning something new. As a journalist in the news business, “something new” occurs every hour so he’s becoming an expert at understanding stuff he never thought about. Learning became a common word in “Future Talk: Conversations About Tomorrow” (Warner Books), the popular book he ghostwrote with Larry King as […]

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With Apologies (many) To Gilbert and Sullivan

By on July 16, 2014 in See It Here

Because I’m now in Congress to serve you well

I work on legislation with no chance in Hell

to make it to a White House signing ceremony

Where I pose next to Obama with his arm around me.

(Chorus) Look– he just got a selfi with president–see!

Now my buddies went after healthcare because it’s just too big–

it makes government a business; (but let me keep this gig).

Three years ago we passed a bill to kill Obamacare

But the Senate didn’t buy it and it went nowhere.

(Chorus) No the Senate didn’t buy it because they just don’t care.

So we sent a variation as a compromise

But those liberal left-wing bastards had the other guys.

More than 40 times we tried it with the same result

And the country says I’m not acting like a mature adult.

(Chorus) And we take that as an insult ‘cause it’s not our fault.

It’s true everyone says Congress is a bunch of fools

Sure, we haven’t done a darn thing but we’ve kept our rule.

‘Cuz we represent The People, working Americans

It’s the other side that’s focused on shenanigans.

We’ve tried to explain our position on Hannity

(It’s the only television for sanity)

Spending all the airtime to say “they’re wrong”

Talking points with no solution is our favorite song.

(Chorus) If we ever offered answers, we might get along

After working a few hours we find a microphone

To tell The People we represent them, that they’re not alone.

But their opinion puts us lower than a Kardashian

In November keep the progress and vote me in. 

(Chorus) Vote against opponents–let us keep our job.

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